Pastoral Care

Premarital Ministry F.A.Q.

1) How far in advance should we start planning? Call as soon as you become engaged - ideally at least six months in advance.

2) What are the specific requirements to be married by a Community Bible Church pastor? All premarital couples must complete the Mentoring Program and the Marriage Prep Class. This includes the couple-to couple premarital meetings and/or the Saturday or Sunday class. In addition, the pastors of Community Bible Church have determined the following qualifications, based on Biblical truths:
A) Bride and groom must individually confess a personal commitment to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Community Bible Church will not marry unbelievers, or join an unbeliever to a believer in marriage (2 Corinthians 6:14-18). God's Word is clear about spiritual compatibility between marriage partners.
B) Bride and groom must abstain from physical intimacy or living together. Sex is a gift from God. He is the one who created it! Therefore, we must follow God's directions regarding our sexuality. The Bible gives us clear instructions for sex: it is only to be enjoyed within the parameters of the marriage relationship (2 Corinthians 6:3). God's Word also gives us clear warnings and consequences when sex is used outside of the marriage.
While many of those who come to Community Bible Church are honoring God through abstaining from sexual intimacy, there are many others that do not fall into this category. Couples who are physically intimate or are living together are asked to move apart and covenant with CBC to abstain from their sexual relationship until their wedding day. Although this can be financially difficult for a time, the long-term benefits to your marriage and the eternal rewards of obedience to God's word will far outweigh the temporary costs or inconveniences.

3) How can we get started?
Open the Bride's Questionnaire and the Groom's Questionnaire , complete the form applicable to you, save the questionnaire so you can find it again and email back to jwilhelm@cbcmail.org as an attachment. If you need help with this process, contact us at (210) 253-5966.
Once we've received your questionnaires, we will contact you with your premarital mentors.
Enroll in the Marriage Prep class and begin attending
Contact a pastor to perform your wedding ceremony. If you want a CBC pastor to marry you, check out the list of CBC Pastors.

4) What is the cost of the CBC premarital mentoring program? The program cost is $100. This cost covers books, workbooks, and other counseling materials. Our premarital mentors are not paid; they have chosen premarital mentoring as a special ministry opportunity.

5) Who are the premarital mentors? Your premarital mentors will be a married couple who has received special premarital training at CBC. These couples have been married for at least fifteen years and exemplify Christ-centered marriages. They are open and honest about sharing their experiences in their own marriage. You will work with the same counselors for the full duration of your premarital mentoring. Although they are specifically trained in the area of premarital mentoring, they are not professional, licensed counselors. They have chosen premarital mentoring as their ministry at Community Bible Church. One of the goals of the ministry is to provide all premarital couples an opportunity to establish a mentoring relationship with their mentoring couple, thus encouraging their present and future connection to their CBC family.

6) Can we choose our own mentors? No. We carefully matched each engaged couple with mentors based on your life experiences, marital history, spiritual maturity, and personalities.

7) What do we talk about at the mentoring sessions? You will discuss many subjects throughout your time together. These subjects include allowing Christ to be at the center of your relationship, your marital roles and responsibilities; skills for communicating and resolving conflicts; realistic management of finances; your sexual relationship; your family of origin; and much more! Your relationship strengths will be discussed, as well as areas that need growth.
Although the program is designed to cover certain topics as you work through your workbooks, you will have the added benefit of your mentors who can share from their lives with you.

8) What should I expect from the whole premarital mentoring experience? You should expect to be challenged, strengthened, educated, and better prepared for your upcoming marriage. You will probably experience some laughter, some tears, and some pleasant surprises! You should leave your premarital counseling with some problem areas identified, some new marital skills learned, and a more realistic expectation of what marriage will be like.

9) Can we have our wedding at CBC in the sanctuary or a smaller, more intimate space? At this time we do not perform weddings at CBC due to the overwhelming occupancy of the building for all the LifeGroups.

10) Can we have a CBC pastor marry us at a different location? Sure, as long as you have completed the mentoring program and the pastor has agreed to marry you at the alternate location.

11) What if we are getting married before we could complete the 4-6 month mentoring program? The purpose of CBC's premarital ministry is to give you and your future spouse the best foundation possible before you marry. It encourages discussion between the two of you on topics you may not have considered before. This takes time. In order to get married by one of the CBC pastors, you must have the premarital program completed prior to your wedding day.

12) Can we be mentored and take the class even if we aren't members of CBC? Yes. The class is open to any engaged couple that wants to enroll. Couple to couple premarital mentoring is available to all members and regular attendees of CBC.

May God richly bless you individually, and as a couple, as you make this exciting journey together!